SEPTEMBER 1st
BEGINS OUR OBSERVANCE
OUR SEASON
OF GRIEF AND GRACE
THE TIMELESS
BEAUTY OF OUR TOWERS AND LADY LIBERTY.
THIS IS THE
IMAGE TO REMEMBER WHEN RECALLING THE WORLD TRADE CENTER
NOTE:
IN PLACES IN THIS ARTICLE WE USE THE TERM MEN AND OTHER MASCULINE
DESCRIPTORS. THIS IS NOT MEANT TO
IGNORE
WOMEN, IT IS EMPLOYED MERELY AS A WRITER’S DEFAULT USAGE FOR “PEOPLE”.
WE
ALSO USE THE TERM “GOD” AND THIS IS MEANT TO REPRESENT NOT ONE GOD BUT WHOEVER
ONE
MIGHT CONSIDER AS A DIVINE DIETY, HIGHER
POWER, THE PROPHET, SAVIOR, OR ANY OTHER
“SUPREME
BEING” NO MATTER WHO ONE WORSHIPS OR NOT.
TAGS:
WTC 15 YEARS GONE BY, 9/11/01,
GRIEF
AND SORROW, ANGER AND FRUSTRATION,
NYPY,
FDNY, PAPD MOS,
ALL
VICTIMS LOST
(September 1, 2016) Across all
major religions of the world including Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism,
Judaism, and Islam, there occur times in the calendar year designated for
particular observance. Some are preludes
to Solemn days of remembrance; others times for sacrifice, fasting, atonement,
and repentance. In Roman Catholicism the
seasons of Advent and Lent are times to prepare to mark transcendent events
such as the Birth of Christ on Christmas and Lent that ends with the triumphant
rising of the Lord Jesus from the bondage of mortal death respectively. Those of the Jewish faith observe Yom Kippur ;
members of the Islamic faith have Ramadan to get their spiritual house in
order. The practice of religious
observances occurring over a proscribed finite time period is as common among
the various denominations and faiths as is the article of faith that teaches
the truth of a Higher Power as master of the cosmos and humanity.
Over the course of the past 14
years many of us have struggled seeking our own meaning in the time marked from
September 1st until September 11th. The pain and anguish from that September 11th
in 2001 has not been lifted from our consciousness although in many regards, as
a sheer survival mechanism the routine of the days and weeks, the months and
seasons can help keep our darker emotions at bay. But once September lands, when we turn that
calendar page, and catch the first glimpses of the coming Autumn in New York;
that vibrantly clear pastel blue of a cloudless sky, we feel the initial
stirrings of the next 10 days, the days that are both a commemoration and
remembrance; celebration of lives lost, sacrificed, and saved as well as
survivor’s existence forever altered. Yes, that season is upon us once again
and with it comes the rekindling of the rawest of our emotions and memories,
our collective efforts and individual experiences and it is these that demand
our attention while we ought not “self-censor”.
There is no timeframe for grief; no proscribed period of mourning or
sorrow. Repressing whatever emotions are
stirring within today will likely find other means to be heard.
FAITH: TRIED AND TESTED, LOST AND FOUND
The old adage that says “There
are no atheists in a foxhole” speaks to people who find themselves confronting
a scenario where their survival is not at all guaranteed. Be it overtly acknowledged or not, most of
the Members of Service (MOS) of the FDNY, NYPD, and PAPD have some degree of a
religious/spiritual beliefs. There is a
long and storied history of the Irish and Italian MOS whose adherence to much
of the Roman Catholic church doctrine is expressed as members of various groups
and organizations such as the NYPD and FDNY Holy Name Societies, and many
others. Cops and Firemen live with the
omnipresent specter of their own mortality which seems to strengthen an
individual’s faith; faith, not necessarily being a “practicing” Catholic for
example, but rather a personal understanding of and a relationship with a
Higher Power.
Among the casualties of that
September 11, 2001, was, for some, their faith.
Amid the good fortune for those who managed to escape the impending twin
collapses that transformed our majestic towers into 110 story death traps, many
prayers of thanks and gratitude were expressed, as even more fervent prayers
were offered for the missing. Despite
the sincerest prayers anyone could beseech, for the families of over 2,600
victims, their God answered “No”.
Prayers of hope suddenly turned to raging anger to the God of their
beliefs. A sense of betrayal infected
some and, even today, for many that infection has never been eliminated.
One of the most essential
beliefs that spans across all denominations is that God has a plan; a very
specific plan for each of us and that He has no intention of sharing it with
us. This is the article of “blind
faith”; a version of faith that is meant to provide succor and comfort in the
face of the most horrendous sorrow. A
newborn child enters the world with a malignant brain tumor. How could this be part of any sort of a
“plan” allegedly crafted by a loving and merciful God? Of the hundreds of FDNY MOS who entered the
Twin Towers that morning 343 did not escape. And this was God’s plan for them
and their families? Yes, the questions
are unvarnished and accusatory. Now 15
years out from that day many among our community have yet to come to terms with
what was supposed to be “God’s Plan” while harboring an anger of epic
proportions. Yes, the events of that
miserable day strengthened the faith and resolve for many thousands and it also
broke the covenant of their faith for many thousands more. It is ok to be angry but, it is also sad in
many potent ways. It is particularly
treacherous for a person who once knew faith and has lost it. But this is understandable.
AMAZING GRACE…AGAIN AND AGAIN…AND AGAIN
The sounds of the Celtic
highlands, the bleating bagpipes accompanied by drums sound particularly crisp
and clean as they rebound off the stone facades that line the route of the
annual NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
Both the FDNY and NYPD have their own Pipes and Drums
organizations. Aside from parades and
other official appearances, the Pipes and Drums attend the burial service of
every MOS who dies (in most cases and possibility more routinely with the FDNY),
be they active or retired.
The wailing of the Lone Piper
standing a distance from the family and friends about to commit their loved one
to the earth is a powerful and emotional, particularly haunting sound. Just as when “taps” is played by a bugler,
these sounds stir the listening soul and evoke memories. The sense of profound lost is carried aloft
only to remain as yet another memory of the deceased. For many of us, it is fair to say, we grew to
hate the sounds of the bagpipes. We became
conditioned to despise the rhythmic beat of the drums. There was just too much sorrow, far too much
loss. The funerals seemed to never end;
but, as some of the efforts at “The Pile” in the earliest days, we became
obsessed with attending as many as we possibly could. Was it some hint of “survivor’s guilt” at
play? Where we driven by a strain of “survivor’s
remorse”? Whatever the forces propelling
us to attend services, wakes, visitations, funeral Masses, would soon be
replaced by standing in for and standing up with young brides whose Dads were
not there to walk them down the aisle. We stood in at ballgames and birthday
parties, Communion and Confirmation rites, and other aspects of the surviving
families void, that void left by tragic death.
But, in many ways, it was only
right and proper to fill those voids even if only in physical presence,
emotional presence. That was all that
could be done. The victims’ families
were forced to embark on the journey of the rest of their lives minus a Mom or
Dad, brother or sister, close relative or lifelong friend. Those are wounds that may never heal despite
the passage of time and altering circumstances.
Among the many definitions for
the word “Grace” perhaps this one, “a state of sanctification enjoyed through the
divine; a virtue coming from God” is the most comforting and it is that touch
of Grace that the hymn Amazing Grace seeks to give voice. Yes, Grace saves,
Grace heals, Grace can alleviate pain, the scorching pain that no earthly
temporal element can soothe. So, here we
are, 15 years down the road from the day that put our world atilt. For many the axial rotational has not yet
returned to the pre 9-11-01 equilibrium.
And so, we can still seek Grace; we can still wander in the shadowed
woodlands with a compass that recognizes no magnetic field. It is a choice but, as we have said time and again
throughout these 15 past years, there is no timetable. Perhaps it is only in the vague concept of
Grace, in just a flimsy sliver of hope that Grace will find its way towards
those who not only seek it but truly need it.
We survived for reasons that do not include guilt nor remorse. We just keep on keeping on and try to do
better today than yesterday.
Copyright The Brooding Cynyx 2016 © All Rights Reserved
Copyright Brooding Cynyc 2016 © All Rights Reserved
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