LARRY CRAIG ON TICKET BOOSTS CLINTON AMONG HOMOSEXUALS
(April 10, NY, NY) Radio City Music Hall has been host to many an extravagant event in it’s storied history. A landmark on Fifth Avenue, across the street from St. Patrick’s Cathedral, the Music Hall, known for the leggy, high stepping, Rockettes, was the scene of a political affair tonight that was as over-the-top as anything even the most ambivalent, jaded native New Yorker has seen.
At a fundraising concert featuring the gay British has-been rock star, Sir Elton John as the headliner, Hillary Clinton appeared for the first time in public with her running mate, closet homosexual conservative Republican, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho. Since Mrs. Clinton announced Senator Craig as her choice for her running mate, her campaign has been infused with new enthusiasm and money. The gay - lesbian - transgender - trans sexual - transmittable sexual disease community has come out in full force in support of Hillary’s floundering efforts to obtain her party’s nomination for president. While polls show most gay men have the hots for Clinton’s rival, Barak Obama, some of the richest gay men in America attended this event.
Proud gay American, former New Jersey Governor, Jim McGreevey, presided as the Master of Ceremonies and the Master of Bation, at this lavish event. Famous homosexuals of all kinds were in attendance at this fundraiser that was a cross between a Billy Graham revival and the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade. NYPD Captain, Francis Xavier Flannagan, the Commander of the Midtown North Precinct commented, “Jeeze. Radio City. My Mom and Dad took me and my brothers and sisters to see the ‘Sound of Music’ here in like 1967. This whole thing tonight is a freakin’ shame.” Later in the evening NYPD Commissioner, Raymond Kelley, announced the demotion of Captain Flannagan. Flannagan is now directing traffic on Nostrand Avenue in Brooklyn from midnight to 8 AM.
Wealthy homosexuals attended this gala in profusion. The reported $2.5 million raised at the event, was comprised of substantial, albeit, legal donations, from famous queers such as Richard Gere, CNN’s Anderson Cooper, MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, Congressman Barney Frank, Boy George, Jim Nabors, Randy Travis, Nathan Lane, Ryan Seacrest and Michael Bolton. The lesbian community also contributed heavily with notable dykes such as obese, criminally ugly, vile Rosie O’Donnell, Twiggy, Barbara Walters, Diane Feinstein, Judge Judy, Mrs. Eliot Spitzer, Donna Brazile and Ruth Bader Ginsberg all giving donations generously.
While not confirmed by any State Department or White House officials, allegedly, Condoleeza Rice was seen in attendance, occupying a private balcony booth reportedly manually gratifying herself. Ralph DeLuccase, an usher at Radio City for the last 32 years, told ‘Entertainment Tonight’, “ Yea, I seen this skinny, older, black woman go into this high dollar booth. I thinks nuthin’ of it...after all, to each his own, capice’? Anyways, I go about my bidness and I hears this strange sound. I go to investigate. I follow my ears to that booth. That’s right, that booth. I looks in and seen that skinny black woman rubbin’ her...her,... ah...herself like there’s no tomorrow. I knew who she was, ya’ see. I watch the freakin’ news, ya know. But, hey, I can keep a secret. If you guys from ET didn’t give me that 22 bucks, I woulda nevah said a freakin’ word.”
Airport and truck stop restroom pleasure seeking homosexual, Larry Craig, received the most vocal support from the entirely gay-lesbian crowd when he first appeared on stage embracing Mrs. Clinton. Spontaneously, the chant of “WIDE STANCE” echoed off the acoustically perfect ceiling of Radio City Music Hall as Elizabeth Taylor, Susan Estrich and Brittany Spears joined the Village People in a raucous, bawdy rendition of YMCA.
After the crowd had dissipated, the NYC Department of Health temporarily quarantined Radio City until it could be adequately disinfected.
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