ROMNEY: “SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO THE BEATLES”

MITT EXITS GOP RACE
Cites Money & Mormonism For Dismal Showing

(Feb. 7 Washington, DC) After spending over $60 million of his own personal fortune, former Massachusetts Governor, republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney announced he was “suspending” his campaign. His announcement came during a speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference here earlier. His departure alters the GOP field leaving only John McCain and Mike Huckabee seriously in the contest. Texas Congressman, Ron Paul has not collected any delegates in the caucuses and primaries held to date.

Romney began his bid for the presidency long before the majority of other contenders. His personal wealth allowed him to spend lavishly, (some would say recklessly, foolishly), in the earliest caucus and primary states of Iowa and New Hampshire. Despite his huge outlay of cash which bought him widespread advertising, top dollar consultants, media, some name recognition , his own staff of traveling hair stylists, and the Ames Straw Poll, his message, he personally, never really caught on. There were far too many questions and doubts about him and his candidacy then there was belief in his abilities and readiness to serve as commander-in-chief.

Among the core republic base composed of right wing Christian conservatives and Evangelicals, Romney’s Mormonism was always an obstacle in the way of their acceptance of him. Oddly, during a press conference hastily arranged after his speech, Romney himself commented, “Being raised a strict Mormon sheltered me from many things in my formative years. Only recently did I hear the Beatles song from 1964 entitled ‘Money Can’t Buy Me Love’, I was really taken by that concept. I thought money could buy me anything. After all, it always has. Once it bought me the Ames Straw Poll last August, my belief was it would certainly buy me the presidency”.

His immediate political future unclear, Romney said as he departed for his private jet, “ Money can’t buy me love or an election but it can buy me a boat load of other stuff. Right now I’m gonna buy a bottle of scotch, every Beatles CD I can find and two prostitutes. After that flight, who knows...I might buy myself a divorce or a Hummer.”

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